You Follow Me

At the end of John’s Gospel, there is the famous passage in which Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him. Jesus then foretells Peter’s death and finishes by giving him the command he is meant to live by, “Follow me.” After this deeply personal conversation, whereby Jesus restores Peter to the friendship he had wounded in his three-fold denial, Peter does something that at first glance seems quite odd. He turns to John and asks Jesus about his plan for this beloved disciple.

Jesus is focused on Peter, on their relationship and on his plans for Peter but Peter chooses to look elsewhere. What draws Peter’s gaze to John? Is he merely curious? Is he comparing their lots, wondering how me stacks up in relation to the one who remained at the cross? Does Jesus have something special, something better in store for John? I don’t know what motivated Peter’s question, what I do know is that Jesus chose not to answer it. Instead, Jesus says, “What if I want him to remain until I come? What concern is it of yours? You follow me.” Jn 21: 22

Jesus does not indulge Peter’s curiosity or feed his temptation to comparison, rather he draws Peter’s attention back to himself and reiterates for him his call, “You follow me.” Peter does not need to know Jesus’s plan for John, he needs to know and to focus on Jesus’s plan for himself, the plan that in that very moment Jesus was making known to him.

I often find Peter deeply relatable, and in truth this behavior of his does not seem odd to me at all. It is easy to be curious about what the Lord is doing in someone else’s life, to speculate about what He might have in store for them, even to be envious if it seems better than what He has in store for me. Comparison is a deadly trap. It is a tool of the Evil One that keeps us focused on others rather than on the Lord. This happened to Peter as he was sitting face to face with Jesus, immediately after Jesus had restored their relationship. Recognizing this reality isn’t meant to cast aspersion onto Peter, whom I love, but rather to illustrate how easy it is to slip into idle curiosity, comparison, and envy, even for those of us who are in loving relationship with Jesus.

Jesus’s response is illustrative as well. He brings Peter back to what is important, calls him to focus his gaze on what matters, his relationship with Jesus and Jesus’s plan for him. We don’t get to know the details of what Jesus plans for others and seeking to know those details is only a distraction. The Psalm response for today proclaims, “The just will gaze on your face, O Lord.” (Psalm 11:7b) This verse not only offers hope, it also offers a roadmap. I hope one day to gaze upon the face of the Lord in endless joy, but along the way, if I want to grow into a person who is just, upright, righteous, I must turn my gaze from others and focus on the Lord.

I must gaze upon the Lord as he asks me if I love him and I must continue to gaze upon Jesus as he says to me, in a variety of ways, “You follow me.”